You would think that well over four months into the “best-to-stay-at-home” phase of a global pandemic, I would now be up-to-date with reading the only magazine to which I subscribe (O, The Oprah Magazine). But unlike many during these “interesting” times, my pre-pandemic routine hasn’t changed all that much except for having to also do certain tasks that, before, were done by others. So when I found myself at the end of O’s June issue this morning, focused on Oprah’s “What I Know For Sure” column, I learned something that is probably very old news to most of you. From what I recall, a friend had informed Oprah that she was trending due to a report that her home had been raided and she had been arrested for…, well, I really don’t want to repeat a lie, so let me just say that it was for something quite awful—something of which other well-known people have often been accused in recent months. Oprah said that she was shocked to hear that some “fake” thing about her was being circulated once again. She also stated that it still upset her even now to read and hear such awful (and untrue) things being associated with her. A moment after I put the magazine down, I knew that my plans for the day had changed; instead, I would be writing yet another blog.
Like most every other human being, I’ve experienced being on the receiving end of false stories about both my character and my actions, but I’m not addressing that here. My having had those experiences has made me quite careful about what I share in regard to another person unless and until I know with a great deal of certainty that what I’m saying is true and (in most cases) would actually be of service to repeat. And if I find later that I’ve erred by passing on a falsehood, I make sure to set the record straight as well as to apologize to anyone whose reputation might have been damaged by my words. That’s the upside for me of having been the subject of unkind gossip and lies in the past: I am conscious of not doing that to others, and I also have great empathy for those who are hurt by those lies. This brings me to a…virus that I’ve noticed being carelessly spread (without adequate thought) in recent months. And I’m not referring to COVID-19.
Let me first admit that I’ve been an avid YouTube watcher ever since I discovered that there are many topics in which I’m interested that are addressed on that forum. For example, I recently used YouTube to make some decisions about changing my hairstyle. Who knew that my looking at videos on “Short Pixie Cuts for Women Over 50” would put EVERY kind of hair cutting and styling video onto my YouTube newsfeed as of late (even though I no longer need to research hairstyles)?!! But that applies to ANY topic of a video on which I “click”—even those that are about something completely different than I inferred from their titles. Part of the price I pay for clicking is that other videos on similar topics will be waiting for me the next day. And since I’m a gal who likes to be “in the know,” I also make an appoint to watch a handful of videos that are “trending” so that I know what people are talking about these days. That’s where the lie about Oprah comes in….
At this point in 2020—definitely a year for the record books in its…strangeness—I’ve received many conspiracy-theory videos via private messaging, some from people whom I only know via social media (i.e., have never met personally) and others whom I’ve met and, perhaps, know socially, but who have never taken a moment to message me to simply say “hello.” I’ve also had actual friends share videos with me, which is probably the only reason I’ve taken the time to watch some of the conspiracy-related ones. And let me repeat that I DO like to keep up on what’s trending so that I don’t live solely inside of my own (very imaginative) mind, which could easily happen these days since I spend a lot of time alone.
I’m writing this today because I find it disturbing that so many have no problem sharing videos about well-known people (public figures) that include their being associated with intentions or actions that would be considered by most anyone to be horrific WITHOUT knowing if there’s even a shred of truth to what’s being implied, let alone any proof of what’s being proclaimed as true. I wonder if those sharing these videos have actually considered that they are personally contributing to ruining the reputation of another human being who is possibly undeserving of that. I also wonder if they’ve taken a minute or two to think about how it would feel if the shoe were on the other foot—if they (by some chance of fate or choice) were in the public eye and, therefore, somehow…fair game for others to speak about in whatever way they choose and without there being a consequence for sharing falsehoods.
I’m sure anyone reading this understands that if they were called to testify in a court of law and, while under oath, said something that was untrue (knowingly or unknowingly), there would be a consequence involved. In those circumstances, consciously lying might get you a jail sentence for perjury. And even purporting something as truth that you really didn’t know to be true could possibly result in someone else being thrown into jail and/or, in the least, cause the accused great distress in addition to their having to spend a lot of time and money defending themselves in order to prove otherwise. Just because one is not in a situation where there would be a direct consequence to sharing an untruth about another person doesn’t mean that you should share it without considering the harm it could do.
We all sometimes speak and act without thinking—yours truly included. The longer I live, the more careful I am in considering how others will be affected by my choices before going through with them. Just because something is easy to do and “everyone else is doing it” doesn’t mean that it’s a choice one should make thoughtlessly. Before pressing the “send” button, I encourage everyone to please do some research first! Sometimes, just a few more minutes of your time will show that what you were about to “share” has been proven to be false. Also, let me pass on my observation as to a common thread that connects conspiracy-theory videos of all kinds. Almost always, there are some truths sprinkled among the many falsehoods. Just because a particular video is mostly lies does not invalidate the true statements that they contain; the same goes for the opposite. Don’t be drawn into a web of lies or, at times, simply biased conjecture because you agree with one thing being purported.
I’ll give you an example. I’m very interested in spirituality, and there are many people on YouTube who address that topic almost exclusively due to their own interest in it. However, when someone who is part of a certain spiritual community participates in a video about an unrelated topic, it does NOT mean that what is said in the video is definitely true. Just because someone is known as a person of faith, for example, does not mean that what they say on topics (related or unrelated) to their area of expertise is always true. Let me now use myself as an example. I may know quite a bit about baking, but that doesn’t mean that everything I say related to baking is going to be true. If I made baking videos from which you learned tips that were helpful to you with your baking, and then you saw that I was part of a group who had made a video about the black market in human kidney trafficking, would it really be wise to assume that what was relayed in that particular video (by me and the others who were in it) was going to be of the same caliber as my baking videos? Would you naturally assume that I was also knowledgeable about how human kidneys are trafficked for transplants?
Also, just because someone says that they are an expert on a topic doesn’t meant that they are. Any of us can get a bit intimidated when we are listening to others talk very knowledgeably and forcefully about a topic that isn’t our area of expertise. But each of us also has what I refer to as a personal “bullshit meter” that goes off when we hear something that just doesn’t sound…right. Please don’t deny the knowing inside of yourself upon hearing something that doesn’t feel “right” to you because you are assuming that someone else knows more or better than you do! And that goes for whatever it is that I write, too. It is my point of view—my perspective on various topics; it’s not a fact piece on conspiracy theories and videos, Oprah Winfrey, the definition of truth, or anything else. And you don’t have to agree with me on whatever is written here. That’s not why I am taking a lot of my time to write this blog today. I’m doing so in the hope that maybe even one person reading it will consider what I’ve said and see if it resonates with them.
These are complicated times, and a lot of people are acting solely out of fear—oftentimes fear that has no basis in fact. While it is most likely true that there are people in power who are doing awful things out of public view, not everyone in a position of power is doing so. And just because someone is a public figure does not mean that you should blindly believe everything that circulates about them. Sharing items that might contain a kernel of truth about…something, but also accuses others of great wrongdoing, is contributing to the lie; it’s not of service to spread one or two facts if you are also spreading unproven, hurtful stories about others along with fear. Read and watch whatever you choose! Take time to do some research on things of which you’re unsure. Decide for yourself what feels true to you or not. But please don’t sully others’ reputations in your quest to inform your family and friends about today’s current topics. There are plenty of well-researched and informative articles and videos out there that don’t market in other people’s pain. Take a pause before you hit the “share” or “send” button since, as they say, “what goes around comes around.” Or if you prefer the Golden Rule, please repeat it to yourself on a regular basis. No matter one’s choice of belief system or religion or one’s philosophical view of life, “do unto others…” is accepted by most as a good rule to follow. I always keep that in mind.